Wednesday, August 11, 2010


It goes by so fast. Especially when you're counting the days since you last saw your baby. On 8/8/10, it was exactly 1 year and 6 months since I said "hello" to Emily and just an hour later, I had to say "goodbye". I miss her so much. I always wonder what she would have been like at this age. I imagine that she would have been all over the place by now; walking, getting into EVERYTHING. It kills me that I can't see her reach her milestones. My heart aches. It aches for my babygirl.

Ethan has been sick for a while now. He is constantly congested and his cough keeps coming back. I'm just glad that we haven't had a visit to the ER lately. Although we might have to schedule a visit to urgent care tomorrow since he's had a fever the past 2 days. *Sigh* It's neverending.

This is totally off tangent, but I needed to say it (or type it) somewhere. Ever since we lost our little Emily, I am soooo very sensitive to death. Everytime I watch a movie that involves death, I get this burn in my throat and my eyes gets watery. It burns even more when I try to hold it back and not have a meltdown next to the person I'm watching the movie with. I hope this gets easier. Right now, I feel like it never will. I cried enough tears in the last year and half that would last a lifetime. I just want to hold her and smell her again. Everytime I look back on the day that we said our final goodbyes and we had to bury our daughter, the smell of the funeral home haunts me. I can't get rid of that smell. Big BLAH!

Thanks for reading my vent. ♥