Sunday, April 12, 2009

Happy Easter

I miss my Emily. Especially today. It's Easter. It would have been her very first Easter and her very first egg hunt, even if she is only 2 months old. I think all holidays will be hard for me because something will always be missing. Our angel baby will always be missing from our family pictures. I held back my tears today when I went shopping for some things to put on her grave. There are times where I don't even have the words to describe how I feel. Even now.. in all my blogs, I'm lost and I can never find the right words to express myself.

I am still encountering some friends that are not aware of our situation or what happened with Emily. I saw an old co-worker at Best Buy when I went to drop off some soup for my sister and he said to me,"How are your kids?" It was like taking a bullet... I just answered back, "They're fine." He doesn't know that our daughter is gone. He just knows that I had her and he thinks that everything is fine. But everything isn't fine.. everything is empty and different.

I also saw someone yesterday that I haven't seen in a couple of months. So, the last time I saw him.. I was still pregnant with Emily. And he just asked me how I was doing and then he says, "You have two now, right?" and I answered,"I do have two, but one is in heaven." It's hard to say that... I don't think it gets any easier.

On another note, I love it when friends and family say that they have gone to visit Emily. She was so very special and we were all anxious to meet her. It's unfortunate that as soon as we said hello, we had to say goodbye. But I'm glad that she has made a difference in our lives and I'm not the only one that misses and remembers her. So for that, I thank each and every one of you for thinking of her and visiting her. It is very much appreciated. I also love it when I go visit her grave and there are little gifts left by others. I don't know who leaves them, but if you are reading this.. thank you so much. :)

Happy Easter.

<3, Wendee


Becky said...

I too know how comforting it is to have friends go to the gravesite. It's a sacred place!