Monday, May 11, 2009

Officially missing you

I had a dream last night.

I dreamed that I was pregnant again.. and that we lost the baby, again.

This terrifies me. I will never be able to be pregnant with our third without worrying every second and every minute of everyday during my pregnancy, that something will go terribly wrong.

I told my best friend about my dream and I told him that I can't even carry a child to 40 weeks and deliver them safely into world. I can't even go past 36 weeks for that matter. And he said do you think there's a test that tells you if you can have babies. I can definitely have babies... I just can't bring them to term.

Mother's day came and went. It was easy, but hard at the same time. I'm at ease knowing that one day I will spend Mother's Day with Emily in my arms. One day I will hold her again. I wait patiently for that day.